Our past has an important role to play in shaping us, and our subjectivities. We do use the traces of the past to determine the steps we will be taking tomorrow, but trouble looms when we, rather than moving forwards, remain stuck in the past.
There are various reasons why you might be stuck in the past. For some people, it is plain old overthinking; they are perfectionists and any misstep that they made will become a sore point in their mind, and they keep going over that few moments.
For other people, the inability to get over the past might have to do with trauma, especially when unresolved. There may be triggers that make you go down the memory lane and stay there, or it may have to do with the impact of trauma. In such cases, seeking counsel of a Psychiatrist in Lahore is important.
The fixation on the past also might have to do with lack of self-worth and self-esteem. Some people stay in the past to continue living in their glory days.
Some people might retain themselves in the past to escape the present. It may also have to do with dissociation of the past, and the continuous trips to the past have to do with trying to piece together the memories.
So, what to do now?
Other than understanding why you are stuck in the past, you also need to take steps in undoing this practice. There is no harm in indulging in nostalgia here and there, but being detached from the present, living merely in the past, living in your head is not healthy.
Some things that you can do in this regard include:
Occupy yourself
It often happens that the memories from the past occupy us more when there is free time on our hand. There are many memes that mention about how the haunting memories often occur when just before sleeping, as you are otherwise not occupied.
So, one way to counter free-time induced ruminations would be to occupy yourself. Take up productive habits like reading, crafts, gardening, yoga, meditation, journaling etc. that can help you get rid of the toxic thought patterns and contribute to your life in a more meaningful way.
Enlist the advantages and disadvantages
You can also try to pick apart the incidence, so that the very thing that is causing the beef, and making you feel awful, you can rationalize it.
So, make a list of all the good that came out of the situation, and all the bad. When you see that there is no neat binary, nothing is inherently good or bad, that you have also benefited in some way from the incidence causing you pain, you will learn to make peace with it. It will take some of the negativity out of the experience.
Pipe that critic down
Most often, the trips down the memory lane and the perpetual loop of the past are because of overthinking. We continuously revisit the past mistakes and then criticize ourselves every time during this process.
This process is very destructive, as you continuously put yourself down over one incidence. Therefore, it is important that you quit this cycle, as not only will you not get closure, but you will also cause much damage to your self-esteem and self-worth as well.
So, change your thinking pattern. Try to use the past as just a learning moment. Extract the good from the bad, so that you reclaim the incidence; rather than making it something to be ashamed about or feel bad over, you take it to be the moment that helped you change.
Seek expert help
There might be more trauma in your past than you realize. The lack of letting go might be on account of post-traumatic stress disorder. Hence, it may be of help to seek help from an expert like the Best Psychiatrist in Karachi.
This process is very destructive, as you continuously put yourself down over one incidence. Therefore, it is important that you quit this cycle, as not only will you not get closure, but you will also cause much damage to your self-esteem and self-worth as well.
So, change your thinking pattern. Try to use the past as just a learning moment. Extract the good from the bad, so that you reclaim the incidence; rather than making it something to be ashamed about or feel bad over, you take it to be the moment that helped you change.