We might think when we enter into a romantic relationship, it is all about love and sex. But this might not be a reality. In the real world, you have to accept your partner the way they are.
Some people have had a traumatic childhood that they can not forget. Having childhood trauma can leave lifelong scars on your soul. Since childhood, you are in the growing stage and naive. How you process your thoughts makes a huge difference in shaping your whole personality and thoughts.
Many people can not even realize by themselves that they feel inadequate about themself because they have a bad memory associated with it. We cage those memories from childhood, and they become a permanent thought in our minds until we grow up.
When you spend your days and nights with your partner, you have to deal with them in various ways. Sometimes they might be happy. But sometimes, they might feel lonely, lost, discouraged, emotionally low, or anything. And if it happens due to childhood trauma, it can be an arduous task to get over it. At that time, you need to be extra supportive and caring towards your partner so that they do not feel bad. However, extending support in the right way is the art to acquire. A person who is already feeling terrible about something or themselves may be extremely sensitive. Therefore you need to be cautious so that you do not end up hurting them. And they can realize that you understand them well.
If your partner can not get over negative thoughts and memories, you must take them to a therapist. They can help them in feeling better. Mental health should be taken seriously. And if you find someone struggling with it, you must help them. To get an expert opinion, you can consult with a Psychiatrist in Lahore.
What Are The Tips To Deal With A Person With Traumatic Childhood?
To deal with a person who has had a traumatic childhood, you need to be very gentle, kind, and empathetic. No matter what they have been through, make sure you do not make them feel bad. Some of those tips are:
Allow The Person To Talk
If the person wants to open up with you, make sure you listen to it carefully. Even if they feel distressed, ask them to keep talking. If they keep themselves silent, they may remain more upset and distressed.
Try to keep your feelings under control. However, if they want to stay silent or not talk about it, do not force them about it.
Sometimes they might need to spend some time alone with their thoughts, so give them ample emotional space. However, tell them that you are always there to listen to them.
Be Understanding And Empathetic
Sometimes it can happen that when you try for a depressed person to focus on the positive side, they might think you do not understand them. For example, it is better not to say phrases such as ‘focus on the positive side or look for the silver lining’ because the distressed person may be unable to do that. They might think that you do not understand them well.
Never pass any negative comments about the situation they have gone through. Be empathetic and understanding towards them. Make sure you do whatever is in your scope to tell them that you understand them well.
Help Them Relax
Do whatever makes them feel good. It can be something like cooking lunch or serving coffee, or it can be reading a book to them or listening to a melody with them. Be kind and helpful towards them.
The Bottom Line
Childhood traumas can leave a lifelong impact on a person. Therefore if your partner has had a traumatic childhood, you need to be empathetic towards them. Make sure that you do not make them feel bad about it anytime. Sometimes your relationship might also suffer because your partner is depressed, stressed, or upset. At those times, you need to be understanding.
To get an expert opinion, you can also consult with a Psychiatrist at Fauji Foundation Hospital.